Send in the Clowns
So word on the street is that Katie Couric is ready to bail out of the anchor seat she was so ill-suited for in the first place.
We loved her on The Today Show, snarking it up with Matt Lauer. Their shtick was like a well-oiled machine. Her departure set the stage for the double spectacle of Meredith Vieira's forced transformation into a Katie clone, and Katie's forced morph into a serious evening news anchor. None of it was believable. And it was often painful to watch.
I liked Meredith on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? She was good on The View, although I never watched it. But her "initiation" into the wacky world of The Today Show totally creeped me out. It was like she was joining a cult. And then Katie — the way CBS marketed her. Anyone who'd ever seen her in action had to have been shocked by the Stepford version they were fobbing off on us:
The wonders of Botox, Thorazine, and Photoshop.
All I see when I look into those empty eyes is "I sold my soul to CBS for $15 mill a year." And her face frozen in that vacant Prozac smile, all the life photoshopped right out of her. You'd think she'd been kidnapped by Scientologists and married off to Tom Cruise. You know she was totally sedated. They hook her up to a Thorazine drip before every broadcast.
I had to wonder why CBS went to such great lengths to get her if they didn't really want her: you know, Katie Couric, the outrageous, silly, snarky, giggly, flirty, gum-baring Matt Lauer-menacing minx of morning TV. Why get her if all you're going to do is suck out her essence and give us a dead husk? Or to put it another way: why buy a hyena when what you really want is a hamster?
It was an ill-fated match from the start. But her replacement is sure to be a hit. I hear they're courting Paris Hilton. Or was that Perez Hilton? Either way, can't wait to see the promotional shots!
You know, except for the late, lamented Peter Jennings and to some extent his successor Charlie Gibson, I don't think there's a decent anchor anywhere. They've all been indoctrinated in the perfect grooming, blond-is-beautiful, happy news team ethos. And almost to a person, they do what i never want an anchor to do--they editorialize. I want news, accurately, in enough depth to understand what's going on, and untainted buy the personal opinions of a career narcissist.
Example: Jack Williams (WBZ-TV) gives the intro to a story on a repeat sex offender. Tape rolls. Story ends; Jack says, "What a SICKO!"
Example: Kerry Connolly (airhead on the same channel, morning news)gives the intro to a story that involved a fugitive trying to hide in a nudist camp. Tape rolls. Story ends; Kerry makes a face and says: "Ewwwww--naked people. What's THAT all about?"
Example: Dan Rather.
Fritz and i watch only BBC in America evening news now. It's not perfect; no human institution is. But it has some objectivity, intelligence and an endearing lack of self satisfaction. The women sometimes have messed hair and wear dowdy outfits; the men sometimes resemble baked potatoes. But they give the news, pure and simple and often at surprising length.
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Come back, Uncle Walter!!!
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